Private Comms
Jul. 1st, 2021 04:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
notsosouThe klaxons rang. The red lights flashed. The station sections slowly listed in the dark. Long past the edge of effort, long past the boundaries of hope, Stacy kept struggling, but there was no use to it; and in the end, even the static and the voices in her headset ceased to shout.
It was a jewel to her, the moment that she understood that it was over—
That willpower could not fix this. That effort could not fix this. That even “being better” could not have helped.
It was a jewel; it was an unfolding, glowing flower. It transfixed her with the simple beauty of it.
Her eyes no longer saw the console that spread before her. Her ears no longer heard the bells. Instead her eyes were fixed on that pure and clean and inner darkness, and the silver glow that burned within it; then up, beyond, and past it, to the beginning of the world.
- Glitch, by Dr. Jenna K. Moran
It was a jewel to her, the moment that she understood that it was over—
That willpower could not fix this. That effort could not fix this. That even “being better” could not have helped.
It was a jewel; it was an unfolding, glowing flower. It transfixed her with the simple beauty of it.
Her eyes no longer saw the console that spread before her. Her ears no longer heard the bells. Instead her eyes were fixed on that pure and clean and inner darkness, and the silver glow that burned within it; then up, beyond, and past it, to the beginning of the world.
- Glitch, by Dr. Jenna K. Moran
oh shin you loveable scamp
Date: 2021-07-01 05:18 am (UTC)"We were trying, weren't we? To get out together?" The shadows on the back of her eyes feel distorted as she squeezes them shut. Half formed faces flash in front of her, bleeding and resentful. "I realized I really wanted that today. Not that you'd believe me. No, you just had to go after me in the trial."
She shouldn't have picked him, but she wouldn't ever tell him that. She'd stick with this decision till she died or there was a knife in her throat, and she wouldn't show Kanna the disrespect of regretting her sacrifice. Or thats how the words sounded in her mind. Maybe she just never wanted to give Sou the satisfaction.
"I'm sorry." She says to the wall. "S-sorry Gin....sniff. Sorry Keiji."
isn't he a stinker
Date: 2021-07-01 05:19 am (UTC)He's just twisting the knife at this point, into both of them, drawing on his reserve of tired spite. It's like there's a layer of static fuzz built up on top of the thick, dark, heavy sludge. In him, it's congealed into something almost solid.
'I realized I really wanted that today.' He believes her, but only because it lets him line his stomach with that same dark vindication he's been plastering it with wherever he can. "People who string others along truly are the worst, aren't they?" The tone is cheerful. You didn't want it before that, Sara? Do you really want it now, or is it just more of the same? The same promises he's watched you make, over and over.
The smile and closed eyes fall away and down into something blanker as she apologizes to the wall. "..." He doesn't want to hear this. "I don't think they can hear you," he says.
Re: isn't he a stinker
Date: 2021-07-01 05:22 am (UTC)Sou: THE TIMING....A BIT TOO CONVINVENT FOR MISS SARA TO SHOW EMOTION AFTER SOMETHING BAD AND HORRIBLE, HM?
"Do you wanna wake up another copy of Midori? I'm sure they have a spare...aaah." She's not the sort to break off into laughter, thats for Shin, but some sort of strange noise keeps bubbling up as she pants around dry tears.
"Maybe I'll see them tonight. In my dreams." Suddenly tired of the wall, she rolls onto her back, blinking up at the lights. She shouldn't be doing this, not when she and Sou are supposed to be debating who gets to live. If he tried to kill her now, would she even muster the will to fight?
Probably.
"Do you ever see them when you sleep? I always wondered...I mean I know Keiji did."
no subject
Date: 2021-07-01 05:24 am (UTC)"Don't even joke." Thanks for reminding him that all of the AI have backups and that Midori is probably still out there, in the metaphorical vents. The poetic catharsis of the Banquet is all he has (that's a lie, he has nothing).
Sou reaches for his beanie and pulls it down towards his face with both hands. What is she doing? What she always does, he thinks. He's starting to think it's not even on purpose, and somehow that stings worst of all. He barks out a short, humorless laugh.
"I'm surprised you can sleep after such a thing, Miss Sara." Translation: no he has not because he hasn't slept at all since Kanna died. Double translation: This doesn't mean he hasn't seen her.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-01 05:33 am (UTC)"I don't want to see him either." Stare at ceiling. Blink. Repeat. "He's the worst. He killed Joe." Of course that doesn't make sense, but it makes sense to her, okay? It doesn't matter if he said he didn't like it, he said it for the wrong reasons.
Technically Sara didn't sleep she passed out! Maybe if Shin slept for once he wouldn't go off and try to murder everyone in the room???
"Sleep is important for ngh..." A balanced future. That was what her dad said, but...she actually can't bare to think about that. Was every little platitude just a secret ASU-NARO creed?
shin internally: wait no his name is gonbee
Date: 2021-07-01 06:03 am (UTC)He sets the side of his brain frantically pawing at that puzzle to one side to run in parallel, because it's not like it matters now. There's no card placement to work out here.
Sou why don't you pass out and maybe you'll calm down. Honestly he's getting there. It's pure stress and spite keeping him upright at the moment. He can't rest there's a Sara nearby.
"Ahaha. A balanced future." He also hates that he knows this. After the lantern shook loose one memory of that time more and more of it has been trickling back on it's own, little by little. It's... disturbing. How much had been missing. He doesn't even know if it's stopped. For the first time there's a flicker of... something, to his words, in his face. "Truly disgusting," he mutters into his scarf. He can't even really feel anger any more but every new thing he's learnt about the death game, like his own memories, sickens him. "Well, you're free to." That faux-friendly smile is plastered back on. "I have the feeling we'll be here quite a while!"
no subject
Date: 2021-07-01 06:20 am (UTC)His confusion is apparent, even from the corner of Sara's eye. She's not usually great at picking up on that, but it says a lot about how much time she's spent trying to figure out Sou's expressions in trials. The subtle difference between him smirking in a lie and scrabbling for ground could be the difference between...well it didn't really matter now. She won didn't she. Her and Mr. 0.0%
"Balancing. They were doing balancing." She says, as if that even clarifies anything.
The shared expression makes her press the heels of her hands into the eyes. Stop. Just stop it.
"I hate this. Maybe Midori was evil...but Dad..." She coughs and has to flip over as something in her chest catches. It's all she can do to just shoot Sou an unflinching glare. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? Just drawing this out? Don't you want it to be over?"
no subject
Date: 2021-07-01 06:42 am (UTC)That's the last piece of the puzzle he needs for it all to click into place, several smaller and slightly too convenient things snapping together; it's all he can do not to start laughing hysterically. Him and Miss 15%. Look at where all those hidden advantages got him.
It's unnerving, that she can read him so well. It's genuinely terrifying, and another reminder of just what he's trapped in the room with.
"Well, if you do want it to be over just say the word, Miss Sara." The eyes above his smile are dead, flat disks. "I don't see you hastening to volunteer." He wants it to be over. He's also got nothing left to live for except making her life as much of a living hell as he can.